Figuring It Out

When I was younger, I thought finding “the one” would be simple.

I’d meet someone, we’d fall in love, get married, build a family, and live happily ever after. It seemed like everyone around me was following that path, and I assumed I would too.

But life had other plans.

Life many people, I experienced relationships that simply weren’t meant to last. One ended because we wanted different things. Another ended because we weren’t the right people for each other. The third ended horribly and left me wondering if I would ever find the kind of love that I had always imagined.

Each relationship taught me something, even when I couldn’t see it at the time.

I learned what healthy communication looks like–and what it doesn’t. I discovered that love alone isn’t always enough if there isn’t trust, respect, and shared values. I realized how easy it is to lose yourself when you’re trying to become the person someone else wants instead of embracing who you truly are.

For a while, every goodbye felt like another step away from the future I had pictured for myself.

I questioned whether I was making the wrong choices. I wondered if I was asking for too much or expecting too much. I even questioned whether my person was out there at all.

But looking back now, I can honestly say I’m grateful those relationships didn’t work out.

Not because they didn’t matter–they absolutely did–but because each one prepared me for the relationship that I have today.

The right person didn’t magically erase the challenges of life, but they changed how I experienced them.

Instead of wondering where I stood, I felt secure.

Instead of feeling like I had to prove my worth, I felt accepted.

Instead of trying to force a future, we built one together.

The right relationship isn’t perfect. It isn’t free of disagreements or difficult seasons. It’s choosing each other through those seasons. It’s feeling safe enough to be your authentic self. It’s knowing your on the same team, even when life gets messy.

This relationship has been going for 11 years and married for almost 5 of those. It has been full of ups, downs, laughs, disagreements, and most importantly growth, for the both of us. We are only human, and while we may think out partner is perfect, they have their beautiful imperfections. We just need to learn how to accept them for who they are, accept who we are, and find a way to move forward together.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s this:

The wrong relationships are not wasted time.

They’re chapters.

They reach us what we value. They reveal the boundaries we need to set. They help us grow into the person we’re meant to become. And sometimes, they give us the perspective to recognize the right person when they finally walk into our life.

I know that waiting can be frustrating. Watching others reach milestones before you can make you wonder if you’ve somehow fallen behind.

But life isn’t a race.

Love doesn’t arrive on a schedule.

The relationship that’s meant for you won’t look exactly like anyone else’s, and that’s okay.

If you’re in a season of heartbreak, healing, or wondering if you’ll ever find your person, I hope you remember this: every ending is making room for a new beginning.

Sometimes what feels like rejection is actualy redirection.

And sometimes the relationships that didn’t work out become the very reason you’re able to recognize and appreciate the one that finally does.

That’s what Figuring It Out is about.

We don’t always understand why things happen when they’re happening. But with time, perspective has a way of revealing that every twist, every heartbreak and every unexpected detour was quietly leading us exactly where we needed to be.

Maybe we aren’t meant to have it all figured out.

Maybe we’re simply meant to keep trusting the journey.